is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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