oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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