Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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