so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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