I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
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