i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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