My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize