and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
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Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
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I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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