Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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