He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
How's work?
Spinning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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