I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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