I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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