It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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