turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize