Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize