end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize