Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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