...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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