So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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