the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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