Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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