***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize