Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize