Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize