I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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