"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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