My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize