Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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