ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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