I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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