that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
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I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
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My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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