I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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