Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize