If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
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At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
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Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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