Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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