it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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