At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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