you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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