Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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