Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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