You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
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im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
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Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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