Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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