I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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