Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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