If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize