his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
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I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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