Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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