this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
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she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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