I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want to make a zoo with you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize