He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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