Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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