part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The power of my boobs compel you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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